This page has nothing to do with horses, cows, or dogs specifically. Instead, it is for your entertainment. The following are some of the "cleverer" questions and statements made by my high school students. Enjoy. 

• How do boats swim? 
• I was explaining to sophomore biology the proper biological definition of "sex" which is the exchange of DNA.   One boy did not write down the definition.  I asked him why he didn't write down the definition and he stated, "I can't write that in my notebook.  My mother reads my notes."  The boy sitting next to him looked at him and in a annoyed tone stated, "Dude, your mom is a biology teacher.  She has PROBABLY heard of this sex thing."   Obviously having thought about this, about 5 minutes later, the same boy looked over at the other boy and stated, "I know your mother must know about this sex stuff.  You have a little sister."   
• In a discussion about the cells that make up the trachea, I asked what the two openings in the human body allow air into the trachea.  Boy doesn't lose a beat as he answered, "the blow hole in a whale."  Unfortunately, he was serious.  
• How do deaf people hear?
• Reading a senior's research paper on catapults, I came across this little gem of information. "While builders are not the preferred source of ammunition for a catapult, if you load a builder in the bucket of a catapult and launch the builder over a castle wall, the builder can do a lot of damage."   I wonder if he meant "boulder"?  It is only one letter different.
• Senior boy was reading a list of names taped to my podium.  He said, "I don't recognize this name.  Who is Labron Fries?"  I looked over at the list and rather disgustedly stated, "It says Library Fines."
• Boy:  Snowy owls are awesome.  I want one.  Girl:  Is that like a bobcat?
• What do you mean "strawberries are plants?"  Strawberries are strawberries after they are picked, not plants. 
• Making beer has something to do with fungus?  Do other people know about this?
• What color is red algae?  Student answer:  "Radio".  Please explain, "I was trying to sound scientific."  Correct answer, "red".
• Who discovered penicillin?  Student answer:  Andrew Jackson.  Correct answer: Alexander Flemming.
• Junior girl asked, "What is Obama's last name?" "Is it 'Care'?"  "I always see that word following Obama, so I was wondering if that is his last name?"  "Obama Care".  Unfortunately, she was serious. 
• Senior boy appeared to be in deep thought when he looked up at me and said, "It seems to me that the longer someone stays in one spot, the more likely they are to move."
• What do you put on a mosquito bite?  Mosquito spray.
• Life begins at contraception.  
• Boy stated, "I thought the boy had to puncture the girl to get her pregnant."
• Define "placenta" -- a piece of land.   Placenta not peninsula. 
• Boy in chemistry asked, "What color was the red one?"  He seemed quite content with my answer, "red".
• I don't remember very well, unless I do remember.
• In my senior level psychology class, I was discussing the neurotransmitter serotonin.  After I explained several of the properties of serotonin, a boy in the back hollered out "are you sure?  I thought Sero Tonin was that woman that ran for president with John McCain?"  -- Serotonin, NOT Sarah Palin.
• Boy told me he had "terminology class" last year.  Unfamiliar with that class, I asked what they taught in the class.  He said, "you know, math stuff."  Upon further invistigation, it turns out that the rest of us refer to the class as "trigonometry". 
• Girl kept asking if I had any pictures of a "sham a lion".  She meant chameleon.
• Junior boy looked at me and said, "I take all of these tests you give and still YOU fail me."  I responded, "you get all the answers wrong."  Boy said, "yes, but what difference does that make?  I still take the tests so I should pass!"
• "Gopher" has a new spelling in sophomore Biology.  "Golfer" 
• 2 x 1 = 1
• Is Washington DC in Canada?
• Rome, Oregon is NOT the same place as Rome, Italy.
• The car seems to shake a lot when I'm driving with a flat tire.
• Senior logic, rolling through stop signs doesn't count if I do it.
• Senior girl announced, "I'm not senile, I'm a brunette."
• Accutane (acne medicine) and birth control are NOT the same thing.
• Chinese food is NOT the same as Japanese food.
• Did you mark this wrong just because I put the wrong answer?
• What kind of a living organism is corn?  "Iron."  Well, iron is on the periodic table.
• As a point of order, The Gettysburg was not filled with hydrogen, and it did not explode.  Furthermore, Lincoln did not deliver the Hindenburg Address.  When questioned, the student stated, "they both end in 'burg' so doesn't that make them the same?"
• Two high school senior girls went clothes shopping on Monday. Entering the store, one girl said to the other, "Oh darn, we should have come tomorrow." "Why?" said the other girl. First girl said, "Read the sign. Tuesday, 70% senior discount. We could save a lot of money."
• During a discussion about homecoming themes and decorating, one student suggested "Lion King". Another student blurted out, "That would be really easy to decorate for. Just put a dog on a rock."
• "Is the North Star in the south?"
• Name the river that separates the US and Mexico. Answer: The Gulf of Mexico.
• As I was collecting the essay tests, the girl sitting behind the straight A student glanced at his test and proclaimed, "now I know how he does so well on his tests. He writes the answers on his test paper."
• Do humans have a gizzard?
• I asked a female student, "How many electrons are in Lithium?" Girl's answer, "yellow". A boy piped up and asked her, "What's your favorite number in the alphabet?" She responded, "4."
• Full Crumb normally is spelled fulcrum.
• Boy is sneaking up behind girl. Girl says, "what are you doing? I can see you with my personal vision." Boy, "you mean, peripheral vision?" Girl, "that is what I said, my personal vision."
• Sophomore girl spelling of uterus -- youteris
• New math: 2 x 4 = 6. When questioned, the girl responded, "but I thought we were doing multiplication."
• Same girl spelled pollination -- polynation. She also spelled stamen -- staymen. I guess it was an order to all men in many nations to stay.
• Girl didn't know how to spell the last name "Ramirez" so she spelled it "Rentarearend". If you separate that out, it spells: Rent a rear end.
• What are the ingredients that result in pregnancy?
• What does the copy machine do? "It makes paper."
• I did so bad in chemistry that I failed the final, AND it raised my grade.
• Sophomore girl asks, "don't rocks grow?" Another girl answers, "no, they corrupt."
• Junior boy arrives 7 minutes late. Girl says to him, "you aren't very punctual." He said, "yeah I know I'm not very good with commas, but what does that have to do with my being late?" She then asked him if he knew what "punctual" meant. He said, "commas, periods, semicolons, and such." She then went on to explain to him the difference between "punctuation" and "punctual".
• Each baby gets its own umbilical cord, right? And where the umbilical cord was becomes our belly button. So how do you get twins since the mother only has one belly button?
• In a discussion about butchering chickens, a girl asked, "You kill them while they are still alive?"
• Senior boy reviewing for a psychology test on child development, "What is THIS word doing on the vocabulary list!? What does 'assimilate' have to do with children?" I asked him what he thought "assimilate" meant. Response: "to kill someone without permission." His creative definition of "assassinate" is quite different from the correct definition of "assimilate".
• 5 minutes before the end of Biology class and after a lengthy discussion about plant reproduction, the sophomore girl sitting in the front row announced, "I feel like we are in biology."
• Sophomore girl logic, "So flies lay eggs, and so do chickens. Turtles also lay eggs. So flies are like turtles. So do turtles do that thing like butterflies?"
• "Add-a-lence" often pronounced adolescence.
• Sophomore boy, "I am confused over being confused."
• Did you know that "botany" is pronounced Bow Tawny?  or that "tipis" is pronounced Tip Is?
• From the physics pretest:
  • What is a g-force?
    • Student answer: A group of hamsters.
    • Student answer: A movie
  • What does 3 g's mean?
    • Student answer: 3 grams
  • How can you increase torque?
    • Student answer: Get a V8
    • Student answer: Buy a Ford
• New words are always entertaining. Senior girl used the word "demeltified" today instead of defrosted. I guess this goes right along with "rememberized" and "thunked".
• Talking does not require prior thought stated a junior girl. Politician in the making?
• Junior girl informed me that she had her wisdom teeth removed and that the doctor gave her amnesia to put her to sleep.
• I was lecturing to the sophomore biology class about substances that can damage the human fetus. The boy in the front row asked, "so, if the fetus gets damaged during pregnancy, does that mean the woman is pregnant?"
• 2 girls driving to the one of the girl's boyfriend's wrestling meet. They got lost. But have no fear, the one girl announced, "we used that STD thing and found our way right there." (Known as the GPS to the rest of us).
• Isn't Wisconsin in Illinois?
• Students aren't the only ones who make interesting proclamations. I was teaching about survival of the fittest and announced to the class, "those that don't die, live". Duh.
• I asked a senior girl to look up on the Internet the prices of United States flags. She got the site up, looked over at me and asked, "what color would you like?"
• The latest way to spell "enough" is "anuf".
• Sophomore boy's definition of toxic, "passion".
• Boy asked, "what is the hangy down thing in the back of the mouth called?" Answer: uvula . Girl blurts out, "I thought that was lower, much lower."
• Do humans go through metamorphosis?
• Did you know that Benjamin Franklin invented electricity?
• Sophomore boy: "spaying" isn't that where they remove the claws?
• In a class discussion about an article in the newspaper, a junior girl informed me that "my mother had a vasectomy" and now "she is much happier."
• Junior boy walks in and announces, "I didn't know there was such a difference between boys and girls." I thought, well this explains a lot, but I didn't say anything. Then the boy announces, "I just don't understand girls." He spoke quite a mouthful there. Then his girlfriend walks in and announces, "boys are so stupid." I asked why. My big mistake. I should have known better. She explains, "I shouldn't have to explain to him why I'm mad at him. He should know." I asked, stupidly, what sin did he commit? She stated, "I told him I wanted to talk to him, and he said OK." It seems that she wanted to talk later but he stupidly assumed she meant right then. No wonder the poor boy is confused. Don't you wish you could be a teenager again?
• A grandparent brought her new 2 day old grandchild into my classroom. 6 pounds. Sleeping. Very still, very quiet. She handed the baby to me. As I held her, one of my senior girls came up behind me and looked over my shoulder at the baby. In a little whispery voice, she asked me, "How old are they when their eyes open?"
• In physics class we were discussing framing houses. I showed the students several different styles of house trusses. I asked the students what a "gable" was. A boy looked the word "gable" up in the internet dictionary. Without loosing a beat, he read the definition, "it is the low clucking sound made by the male turkey."
• I mentioned that colleges east of the Mississippi River like for students to take the SAT test and that colleges west of the Mississippi River like for students to take the ACT test. A girl promptly asked me if we were east or west of the Mississippi. As I was showing her where Idaho and where the Mississippi River are located on the map (noting that we are definitely to the west of the Mississippi River), another girl is fervently explaining to the class that I am wrong and that it depends on whether one is facing the north or facing the south as to whether Idaho is to the east or the west of the Mississippi River. As I understood her logic, if I am facing north, then the Mississippi River is to the east of Idaho; however, if I am facing south, then the Mississippi River is to the west of Idaho. You try to figure this logic out.
• Just as a point of order, Julius Caesar was NOT "a great American citizen." Someone needs to go read his history book.
• Student asked, "Is Montana in Idaho?"
• Girl called her mother to tell her that her car wasn't running right. "It would go, sputter, and die." Her mother asked her if she had gas in the car. The girl responded, "yes, the little light is on that tells me it is full." -- you know, the light that means the car is empty.
• The boys convinced this girl that all the stop signs that are circled in white are optional. She ran a stop sign and informed the officer that pulled her over: "it is alright, it was an optional stop sign." He thought she was on something and took her driver's license away.
• I mentioned the word "menopause" and started to ask a question. Before I got the question out, a senior boy shouted, "I know what that is, it is what MEN get when they get old."
• Sophomore girl asked, "why do they cut the baby's spinal cord when it is born?"
• "So, if the temperature is going up, does that mean it is getting hotter?"
• What is the use of the lungs? "Digestion!"
• "I got a 22% on my first test; a 44% on my second test; if I double my score on my third test, I'll get a 66%."
• "2 times 5 is 25."
• "1 times 4 is 14."
• "I would rather just lay around the house being a big old play thing than have to come to school."
• "Is a pumpkin a plant?"
• "The brain must be a muscle because my father is always telling me I need to exercise it more."
• "Rice comes from a plant!?"
• What is the primary gas found in our atmosphere? "Dinosaurs."
• "So if a vacuum cleaner is bagless, does that mean it doesn't have a bag?"
• Quote from a female student. "Wait! I'm not impotent, I just don't understand."
• "I was out jogging last night and there was a herd of cows. They were real scary. They started MEOWING at me."
• "So, is it primarily the male that provides the sperm?"
• Picture it, a rather large senior boy (6'2" and 250lbs or so). He looks somewhat like a grizzly bear.  Anyway, he bounds into my room at 8:00 a.m. one morning and announced that his sister (a former student of mine) is expecting her first child but "he is going to have to wait 8 months to find out if he is going to be an aunt or an uncle!"
• Re: Jurassic Park. "Did they make the movie or write the book first?"
• A student complaining about the air-conditioning being too cold announced, "I think I'm suffering from 'hypohernia'."
• "Do geese eat meat?"
• "The function of the seed coat is to protect the seed from incest and dirt."
• One student announced, "It only costs 25 cents per gallon to gas up in the middle east." Immediately another stated, "you mean like in Nebraska?"
• Name the river that is on the border between the US and Mexico. Answer: "The Nile!"
• On the Advanced Biology field trip, the bus is driving along through the desert when all of a sudden one of the girls yells, "look, it's one of those jumping things!" Clueless as to what she'd seen, everyone looks. It was an antelope!
• I was amazed when I learned "the Anaconda is the major river that drains out of Brazil."
• "Is there salt in The Great Salt Lake?"
• Is a "C-section" different from a "cesarean?"
• Basic concept of physics: There is no sound in a vacuum. Student statement. "but my vacuum makes a sound, kind of a 'vuruuuuum'."
• "Do little boy babies pee?"
• I pointed out to one of my pregnant female students that by age 30 she could be a grandmother. She responded with, "No I can't. I'm having a boy."
• Question: Why doesn't the common cold kill us? Student answer: We have cough drops.
• 2.7 = 30/(20 x 20 x h) solve the equation. Student response: this is like math.
• Are there Mormons in Utah?
• Student statement of logic: Once a person is dead, stability exists, because the person stays dead.
• In a class discussion about cystic fibrosis, a female student informed me that she was sure she had had cystic fibrosis but that she'd gone to the doctor and he cured her. I asked how this came to pass and she stated, "he gave me Duracell."
• "So what you're saying is, biology is something like science."
• What is the function of the mammary glands? Sophomore girl shouts out "thinking!"
• "Cows stomp on the dead plants thus killing the plants."
• "Fish don't lay their eggs on the shore. (pause) Do they?"
• The other night I was talking with a former student who was supposed to be at a university studying "Marine Biology". I asked her what she was doing back in Idaho. She told me she'd changed universities and majors. This isn't too uncommon, but I stupidly asked why, since she'd always had an interest in marine biology. She informed me "there was too much biology involved." How could one not have figured "biology" would play a key role in studying "marine biology'?
• Two female students were driving to a rodeo. They missed the exit and turned the car rapidly to try to make the corner. The car spun into the ditch. Fortunately, no one was injured. The police came. The policeman asked the girls to describe the road conditions. The girls thought and then responded, "asphalt".
• I asked a student if she'd ever taken an IQ test. She covered up one eye and said, "E, P, Q. . . yes I've taken those before."
• I explained to a group of seniors that Sigmund Freud was the founder of modern psychology. A junior girls says, "hey I know who he is. He's that guy in Las Vegas who plays with tigers."
• Final exam review, chemistry: I asked, who discovered the electron. A student shouts out "Eisenhower".  Before I could respond another student says, "no it wasn't you idiot, Eisenhower is a type of beer".
• Final exam review, biology: After reviewing for about 40 minutes a student states, "hey, this stuff looks familiar. We've talked about this stuff this year, haven't we?"
• After spending quite a bit of time explaining to the chemistry class that water's surface tension creates a "tough surface" to water that allows light things like feathers to float on top of the water's surface etc., I asked the students why they thought that water skippers could walk on water. Answer: "Well you see, the water skippers study the surface of the water and they see the hydrogen atoms and they choose to walk only on hydrogen atoms because if they should accidentally step on an oxygen atom they will fall through and get wet."
• "Oh look, you can write on either side of this paper!"
• What is the capital of Kenya? Student responds, "Africa".
• A couple of female students were driving their four wheelers down the road. A policeman pulls them over and points out that they are not allowed to drive the four wheelers on the public roads, note the sticker on the four wheeler. One of the girls responds, "oh, we didn't know this was a public road. We thought it was a county road."